takgoti

I love hearing about people’s dreams. Here is one of Sasa’s from last night.

You were in my dream! You were like, “Remember those earrings you had that you gave me? The white ones?” And I was like, “Yeah, you gave them back to me, remember?” And then you were like, “I lost them. I got some other ones.” And they were black circles, with one on top of one another. And I was like, “…Okay…”

But then you left and it changed and we [points to Cyrus] were together. And a lot of people were there, except EVERYONE WAS ON A HORSE EXCEPT FOR ME.

Insert a lot of laughter here.

I was pissed.

Scenario One. You start the 4+ hour bus ride back down to DC from NYC and one of the tires just blew.

You know that you’re not supposed to use the bathroom for anything besides liquids.

Actually, you know the bathroom shouldn’t be used AT ALL when the bus isn’t moving.

But you really, really need to poo.

Scenario Two. You are dancing in a club and you’re feeling rather nauseated.

Actually, make that really nauseated.

…Actually, make that…oh cra-

Scenario Three. You are riding on the metro.

You see your child crossing his/her legs in discomfort.

What do you do? What do you do?

Answer: Do nothing. Allow whatever bodily fluid/excrement to be expunged, on or around the many, many people in your general vicinity.

This post sponsored by my past weekend of unfortunate public incidences.

[I should clarify that said incidences were not caused by me. I was privy to all three, though, and let me tell you - the ol’ gag reflex received a strenuous thrashing.]

I have a newly found respect for bakers. Cake decorators. Pastry…assemblers?

I just spent a good three days or so baking two layers of cake, and putting together lemon simple syrup, lemon curd filling, vanilla bean buttercream icing, and sugared oranges.

You are going to ask why.

And I am going to say, “No reason.”

Saying something like, “Memorial Day Weekend,” would make sense. Or even, “I was really jonesing for some cake.” But, really, there was no reason, excepting that I was buying this crazy tea maker and they had a bunch of books on sale - one of which was this Martha Stewart monstrosity of a wedding cake encyclopedia and I said to myself, “You really should practice baking more.”

It’s not that I don’t bake, because I do. If you want photographic proof, I can provide more than one instance of baking evidence. Even DECORATING evidence.

But y’all, this is easily the MOST baking work I have done. EVER. Baking requires patience, one, which is something that I am short on. You have to wait minutes to hours in between steps. And, two, you have to plan. Oh, the planning. And THREE, and this is perhaps the most critical of them all, the precision. The precision you have to have if you’re going to be putting together even a simple layer cake is INTENSE. Things must be leveled. Icing must be at the right temperature and spread evenly. And decorating? I wasn’t even working with fondant. This was buttercream, people. BUTTERCREAM.

I see those baking competitions and stuff that they have on the Food Network sometimes, and it’s so easy to sit there and judge along with everyone else, but given that I just put together a simple two-layer cake and I am exhausted, I can’t…I can’t even. Oh my god. I imagine that certain things get easier with practice, but MAN. Major props to all of y’all who can Martha Stewart/Ace of Cakes/sugar-frost-fondant it up.

Pictures to come, but now it is time for a well-deserved shower and some sleep. Mmm…shower.

Sasa and I just co-wrote a new jam for your reading pleasure, inspired by the gory, sexual, graphic, plot-driven extravaganza that is Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

And a-one, a-two, a-one, two, three four -

They call me Spartacus,
They call me Spartacus,
They call me Spartacus,
They call me Spartacus.

That’s not my name!
That’s not my name!
That’s not my name!
That’s not my name!

They call me Spartacus,
But I’m not Spartacus!
Maybe Spartacus,
Always the same.

That’s not my name!
That’s not my name!
That’s not my name!
That’s not my…name!

By the way, the first season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand is available on Netflix’s Instant Watch right now, and you should check it out if a lot of blood and nudity doesn’t faze you. I really enjoyed it, and a lot of the names involved may be familiar to you if you’ve watched Hercules, Xena, and Legend of the Seeker.

Go! Watch! Be entertained.

Arright, tumblr. I’ve been a bad internet person lately. After a winter-induced house arrest and school taking over my life, I’ve been trying to spend pretty much every waking moment out of the house. Slowly returning to virtual reality has led me to miss my old blog, so I think I’m going to be digging through and posting some of my favorite entries from the save file I’ve got on this here computer somewhere. Now if only I could find it…

Also, you know, posting more in general.