takgoti

AUTHOR: heather
TITLE: Don’t Ask Questions
STATUS: Publish
CATEGORY: gaming
CATEGORY: conversational
CATEGORY: dorking out
DATE: 11/02/2007 03:25:00 AM ——-

Drew got Guitar Hero III and, along with Halo 3, it’s been getting a lot of play in the house. [It probably has an STD by now.] Also, be warned - not playing Guitar Hero for a long time makes it a lot harder when you try to pick it back up.

Cyrus stepped on one of our XBOX 360 headsets the other day. He only broke the headband, so now whoever is trying to use it has to precariously balance it on their ear or lie down and put it on their shoulder if they want to talk. Our second XBOX 360 guitar also isn’t working [the strum up function works, but the strum down does not, making for some awkward playing]. It’s probably due to too much playing, but we’re blaming that on Cyrus too.

In other news, the following fully ridiculous conversations have occurred in the past week, mostly because Drew has been really tired.

Drew is playing Guitar Hero III. The XBOX 360 freezes.

Me: Ruh-roh.

Drew: Game is bwoken.

Me: Game is bwohhhken.

Drew: It’s a monkey!

Me: What?

Drew: Don’t ask questions.

Drew and I are sitting downstairs, watching TV. A commercial comes on.

Drew: Food.

Me: What’s that?

Drew: Hey, chicken.

Me: What are you talking about?

Drew: Go get some nuggets.

Me: …

Drew: Chicken McDonald!

Drew is simultaneously playing Halo 3 and something on his Nintendo DS, a common sight in our house.

Me: What’re you playing?

Long pause.

Me: Hmm? What are you playing?

Long pause.

Drew: Pidgey is sleeping.

Me: Huh?

Drew: Pidgey asleep.

Me: Are you playing Pokemon?

Long pause. Drew taps at the screen.

Drew: Pidgey fainted.

And on that note, if you ever want to hear one [1] hysterically ludicrous conversation, listen to a bunch of people sit around and talk about Pokemon. The older they are, the better.

Drew: Hey! I got an egg!

Cyrus: What egg?

Drew: From the Pokemon. It’s hatching…

Cyrus: What is it?

Drew: Hang on…. It’s a Chatot.

Devo: Isn’t that a bird?

Me: Yeah, it’s a parrot.

Cyrus: Hey, what’s that other bird? The Pidgo…

Me: Pidgey.

Cyrus: Yeah, Pidgey. And then it evolves into…Pidgeot? No. Pidgeotto. And then Pidgeot. Pidgeot. Pidgeot pidgeot.

Drew: God damn it!

Devo: What?

Drew: I got another Chatot.

Devo: Another one?

Drew: Yeah, I hatched another egg.

Cryus: Hey, Magikarp doesn’t do anything, does it?

Me: No, just splash. It’s ineffective.

Cyrus: Yeah, it keeps saying that. I keep hoping that it’ll do something…

Drew: It doesn’t. But Magikarp evolves into Gyrados af - DAMN IT!

Cyrus: What happened?

Drew: Another Chatot! Stupid egg!

Me: Hey, Cyrus, don’t evolve your Magikarp when it tries to
change to Gyrados. Just keep it a Magikarp forever and keep trying to
kill people with splash.

Drew: Yeah, maybe your level 99 Magikarp will be able to hurt someone with splash.

Devo: How many Pokemon did you catch already on that game?

Drew: Oh, I beat it already. I got all the legendary Pokemon and
now I can whoop up on all those little kids running around with their
DS’s.

Devo: If I get Diamond will you trade me some Pokemon?

Drew: Yeah, sure. But I heard that in order to get them all you
have to have previous versions of the game and connect them in the
Gameboy Advance.

Devo: Oh, you mean like Emerald?

Drew: Yeah, and Ruby and Leaf Green… Hey, what were the starting Pokemon for those? It’s a water, a fire, and a plant…

Cyrus: Squirtle!

Drew: No, Squirtle was from the original.

Cyrus: Squirtle, squirtle! Squir! Squirtle!

Me: Char! Char! Charmander!

Drew: Charmander really got gypped in the cartoon. Squirtle had Team Squirtle. Charmander didn’t get anything.

Me: Bulba. Bulba.

Drew: Bulbasaaaaaur.

Cyrus: BLASTOOOOOISE!

Holy shit, we all need to get lives.

P.S. For anyone who remembers the Great Halloween Debacle of 2006 I got candy early this year. We were prepared. Happy late Halloween! Hope yours was a good one.